Chaudhry brothers will take oath from party ticket holder

I recevied a cartoon picture from my friend which is based on the news “Chaudhary brothers (Shuja’at Hussain & Pervaiz Elahi) will take oath from the ticket holders of PML(Q)”.

See the image below:

don’t copy other if you can’t do well

Among the facilitators were many well-known motivational speakers. One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd’s attention, said, “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”

The crowd was shocked!

He followed up by saying, “That woman was my mother!”

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.Getting to the microphone he said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!”

His congregation sat shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out “… and I can’t remember who she was!”

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Moral: Don’t copy if you can’t paste

Meri Marzi

Mera source code Pad kar hasana nahi,
Ise chalta dekh tum fasana nahi….

Main testing karata Hun Boss ki Kasam,
Bina piye Whiskey, Beer ya Rum….

—— MUSIC ——–

Bill Gates milaa muze raste mein,
Beche Windows usne mujhe saste mein,

Usne kaha “Tuze CEO banaoon”
Ghar tere aake Operator ban jaaoon

Bill Gates ko kaha mere ghar na aana
Bill Joy ko bol diya na baba naa

Chaahe Boston me dede muze BMW car
Ya H-1 pe dede muze dollar Dus Hazaar

Par development ke liye main to kachchaa Hun
Dus saal se Porting me Achchaa Hun….

—— MUSIC ——–

(slow)

Mere daddoo , likhe Software
Bina use kiye , koi Hardware

Meri Beti , banegi Aunty
Jab tak inst all , hoga NT

(fast)

Release ho raha hai mera Software naya
Unix ko DOS pe hai port kiya

Microsoft NE jab mera H-1 kiya
Bug Free Windows Maine release kiyaa ..

A woman in a hot air balloon and a man

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
 
She descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am.”
 
The man below replied “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
 
“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist. “I am”, replied the man.
 
“How did you know?”
 
“Well, answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip even more.”
 
The man below responded, “You must be in management.”
 
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
 
“Well,” said the man, “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going.You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!”

Human Resource Management – Joke

One day while walking down the street, a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter himself.

“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” said the woman.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in.”

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven”, said the woman
“Sorry, we have rules…”

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends – fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
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She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

“Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
“So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,”

The woman paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
“I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looked at her smiled and said…….. ……… …..

“Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re an Employee..”
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL H.R. Management